People with herpes should wear stickers.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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