We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
