She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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