For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
