thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
