Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So vagazzling was a success
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
