If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
