ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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