she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
