That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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