not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
