Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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