I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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