soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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