u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
