What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
