bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
