I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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