I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
