i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
