she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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