where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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