I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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