Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
