why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
