Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
