watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Another day, another engagement, another cat
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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