fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize