Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
