here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
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