About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
