Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
