Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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