dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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