Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
