I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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