a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
