Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
