Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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