Where is the hickey?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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