grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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