some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i think i just naturally attract stoners
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
