Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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