Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
