i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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