Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
