Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
