Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
