im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
It's just like the Real World with babies
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
