why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
