Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
