so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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