I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
