What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
