he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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