where am i from again
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
