so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
