I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
