nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
