3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
